this isn't in my job description...

I have to give my high school teachers credit. I don't think they ever once let on that they would rather be home than with me. From band, to Madrigals, to student council, to speech, to Key Club, Spanish Club, CAPTAINS, etc..., it never occurred to me that my teachers did not love hanging out with us kids.

I'm exhausted this week. If you read this blog regularly, you must think I'm exhausted every week, and there may be some truth to that. However, you must understand that this was Spirit Week in honor of the school's homecoming. As a class sponsor, I was supervising for four hours last night as kids covered fluorescent lights with black crate paper and precariously hung strands of Halloween lights from twisted paper clips stuck in the ceiling. I received the honor of riding the float with the freshmen, making sure their chants were appropriate and did not reflect negatively on the school's image and that they threw nothing, even streamers scrunched into balls with tails, to the adoring elementary school kids. When the complete backdrop to the float fell off mid-parade, I was the one to make sure that nobody got hurt as the kids scrambled after it and jump back on the float. They're pretty quick and agile, I'll give them that.

I did have fun at some points this week, though. The freshman hallway is usually pathetic: a few streamers taped to the wall, a couple of signs proclaiming "Go Team," and a balloon floating around here and there. This year's freshmen were incredible though, earning the praise of sophomores and upperclassmen. Was the hallway the best hallway? Of course not. Was it the best freshman hallway WHS has seen in a long time? Absolutely. And I have to admit that I was energized by my pride in them for awhile last night. When the kids wanted to stay for a couple more hours though, I had no hesitation in saying, no, it's time to go home. It never occurred to the kids that as long as they were willing to keep working, I was not willing to stay at school until 9:00, 10:00, 10:30. Maybe a truly dedicated class sponsor would have stayed with them, but I guess my passion for the kids runs out after four hours of hall decorating.

Tuesday night, as I was cleaning up the concession stand the drama club runs at volleyball games, I kept saying to myself, "It is a privilege to be part of these kids' lives. It is a privilege to be part of these kids' lives." At this point it was about 9:00; water from the soda cooler was leaking all of the way down the hall, around a corner, and to a back door; I still had to lock the candy away; and I was sweeping stubborn salt out of the popcorn machine, which the kids had already supposedly cleaned. After everything was finally put away, I sat with the kids outside for awhile as they waited for their parents to pick them up. I was so tired I felt like crying. Nothing was wrong, nothing was upsetting, I just felt so tired all I wanted to do was cry. But, it is a privilege to be part of these kids lives. And, it is an even greater beauty that they don't realize that I would really rather be somewhere else than selling concessions with them at a volleyball game. They don't realize that I would prefer not to spend Saturdays with them during speech season. They don't realize that I don't want to stay at school until 10:30 decorating a hallway or that I really don't have a whole lot of fun riding with them on a homecoming float. I want it that way. I want them to know I have a lot of fun with them, because I do. Maybe the fun I have is in moments rather than hours, but I treasure these kids and I don't ever want them to think they are a burden in me. It is a privilege to be part of these kids' lives. They are paying attention to me, they are listening to me, and some of them are even talking to me. God just give me the strength to be faithful with this privilege. Help me to communicate how special and worth-while each of these kids are. And give me that energy I need in moments like this, moments in which I feel I don't have anything left to give. That's the miracle I'm asking of right now; give me the strength to pour into these kids another week.