Wednesday, March 01, 2006
No turning back now
It's official. It's on the web. I got the hand-signed letter in my mail box today. My resignation from teaching high school English is official. I really am leaving. I haven't been prepared for the reactions of those around me. Several weeks ago I told Jane, my professional and spiritual mentor, and I sat in horror as I saw the muscles in her face twitch and tears came to her eyes. I should be the one crying over leaving her, not the other way around. I need her; she doesn't need me. The expressions of bittersweet support have come from several corners of this district, surprising me and embarrassing me as I remember all of my mistakes and believe that there are several very competent individuals out there who could take my place. As others tell me that they are so sad to see me go, I tell them what a hard decision it was to make, that leaving a district that has been so good to me required me to muster a lot of faith. I feel like I should tear up in front of those with whom I work and I love. But I don't. I don't even feel like crying, though the emotion lies deep within. I wonder if they believe me when I say I am sad to go. I wonder what they think when I just say thank you and sit in silence. I hope my gratitude comes through. I hope they know how thankful I am God has brought me here. I hope they know that this place will forever be remembered as a sign of God's grace in my life.
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2 comments:
I truly wish you the best of luck. You'll be great. :)
Jessie, You have been battling over this decision for awhile now, you have asked many trusted friends and mentors to pray for God's guidance and peaceful understanding. You have it! I hear you talk about your future with excitment and with a confidence that I have not seen for awhile. You should have no sorrowful tears because you are leaving, you know that God has been faithful and you are being available. You may be leaving a school that has been supportive and mentors and friends that have been there for you, but those same friends and mentors will still be just as supportive, just a few more miles away. The joyful tears will come, when you hear those same familiar voices of encouragement there for you, even when you feel so far away. Praise our Lord and Savior, who is our sustaining God and our faithful friend! I love you girlie!
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